Windshield

Football season is here which means a few things in our house. Fantasy football teams are drafted, our living room will become a football haven Sunday afternoons, and I’m spending a lot more time in the car taking W to and from football practice.

It’s been a year since I’ve had this much solo windshield time with him. When he played JFL I’d pick him up Thursday nights after practice and I loved our time together. We have the same routine this fall, as well as Friday evenings and Saturday mornings. Our family has a no phone rule in the car when we’re driving around town (road trips are different). Windshield time with our kids is some of my favorite time with them. Talking seems effortless and I love hearing their stories.

Recently I asked W if he had checked in with his dad about his first day of school (since he was at our house). He said no and I explained how much I like hearing from him when he’s at his dad’s house. He said, “I know mom, you text me everyday” (sarcastically). I explained this is one of the hard things about divorce – you don’t get to see your kids everyday, but I’m always thinking of him. I said, “you lived inside of me for nine months and it’s like a part of me is out in the world.” I don’t always expect a text back (he’s 14 and that’s not the point). W replies with “that’s so weird to think I was inside your stomach for nine months.” Then he looks at his backpack and says, “that would suck to live in there for nine months.” We both laughed.

Sometimes we sing (or he raps), sometimes he tells me about a recent documentary he watched, and sometimes I just drive and he sleeps. The 40-minute round trip to the football field feels long—until I remember how little time I have with him. Then it never feels like enough.

He’s the same size as me now – actually taller. When I look sideways an adult sized human is sitting next to me and I think about how much he has changed. How much I have changed. I thank God I get to be his mom. So while I never thought I’d say it – football season might actually be one of my favorite times of year.