Lean On Me

The first time I met Sissy she was 10. She approached me on a playground and said “Hi Justine!” I was actually trying to avoid her, but she approached with confidence and a smile that reminded me of her dad. I wasn’t supposed to meet her yet. My husband (boyfriend at the time) and I had agreed to meet the former spouses before meeting each other’s kids. Sissy had been dropped off for soccer practice and I was picking up my kids from their after school program. She recognized me from a picture her dad had shown her. I was impressed with her memory and ability to carry on a conversation with an adult (exactly as her dad described her). Sissy also goes by Rhonda Rubberneck because she’s ALWAYS people watching, but we’ll go with Sissy for this story.

The first few times our families hung out together she was almost intimidating. Sissy can be intense, she’s inquisitive, and she’s protective of her dad. The three of them (the Smiley Squad) had a special thing going. From the very beginning, I admired the relationship she had with her dad. The first time she came to my house she looked through my cabinets and closets checking to see if I was organized, and if I had good baskets for storage and matching Tupperware (not joking). She was responsible and full of energy. She already knew how to mow the yard, clean, and grocery shop.

Fast forward almost four years later and she’ll be 14 in July. She just finished eighth grade and already has a job. It’s not surprising. She has a strong work ethic. Sissy likes to spend money and she likes expensive brands, but she’s also willing to work hard. I respect that about her. She mows our property and scoops algae from our pond. She’s not afraid to get dirty and is a rock star when it comes to dumping the camper after our camping trips. I don’t remember having this enthusiasm at her age when it came to outdoor chores.

Anyone living with a teenager will relate to this next part. She’s sassy and knows a lot (more than her parents at times). She fights with her siblings and tests her boundaries. However, this is balanced with sweet moments of her snuggling her way into our bed to watch shows and looking out for her siblings in ways they aren’t even aware of. Blending this family propelled me into teenage years sooner than I was supposed to be (Birdie just turned 10). I’ve made some mistakes and we can get after each other. The thing about Sissy is she doesn’t hold a grudge for long. She has a big heart and there has been a lot of grace in our relationship. Which leads me to my favorite memory with Sissy.

We go to church most Sundays. They sing a few songs in the beginning and I love hearing Sissy sing. This particular morning I was standing between her and her dad. I suddenly felt her arm around my waist and she rested her head on my shoulder. As she stood there leaning on me and singing I felt tears stream down my face. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else in that moment. I felt her grab onto her dad, and for a few minutes I was sandwiched between the apple and the tree. To be loved by these two is truly something special. They are stubborn and have hard shells. If you’re a sensitive person (I am) you could get your feelings hurt during a tango. Then there are moments like these. The moments you can’t manufacture. They happen because of unconditional love and the grace of God. I’ve learned a lot from Sissy these past few years, but hopefully there’s at least one thing she’s learned from me…she can lean on me.