Work in Progress

If I’m being honest the month of August has been challenging. We have a saying in my circle of friends – hard, but good. August has been hard, but good. All of the back to school coordination and activities started to wear on me and my family felt the brunt of it. In this season of life I am aware (sometimes painfully aware) that I am not perfect. I can be so focused on getting it right or perfect that I forget I am human. I am a work in progress.

Three out of our four kids started new schools this year. Our youngest is in her last year at elementary school, our boys started junior high, and our oldest started high school. We coordinated school supplies, schedules, and logistics across three households. It’s not lost on me how much more challenging this would be if our co-parenting team didn’t work so well together, but the truth is we do. I am grateful for this, and retired grandparents who are willing to pitch in.

I want to share a story in hopes that others can relate, and maybe even laugh during this chaotic back to school season. I was running hot a couple weeks ago. I recently started a new job and was having technology issues. The school district where our kids attend made some changes and it felt like a second full time job to register, pay fees, track schedules, buy gym clothes, fill the lunch card, attend orientation…you get it. All of this on top of what I would describe as a bittersweet end to summer and the reality of kids growing up so fast.

So this particular afternoon we were taking the boys to the junior high to put supplies in their lockers and locate their classrooms. As the six of us are getting into the car (it was a family adventure), our oldest says “she’s acting crazy.” I knew she was talking about me and I felt myself reach my boiling point. The last thing I need is someone calling me crazy when I already feel crazy. Let alone our teenager. So we get in the car and I confront her and the rest of the family head on. I start to go down the path of putting them in their place – challenging them to show compassion when someone is struggling. Which is true. We should treat others with compassion, but I also started to realize my inability to handle my stress and emotions was impacting our family. Before I knew it I had shifted gears and started to explain I wasn’t managing my stress well and was trying to get back on track. I wanted to own my behavior and practice vulnerability in front of our kids. I told them I wanted to stop for ice cream after the junior high because sometimes you just need a little something sweet to make it better. They all agreed that ice cream was exactly what we needed.

Eventually, my temperature reduced to a low simmer or maybe even room temperature. I was reminded once again to not take myself so seriously (a recurring lesson for me). I felt grateful for forgiveness and grace which can exist in a world where we hurt each other and make mistakes. I felt imperfect and exposed which I think is right where I need to be so God can continue to help me grow. I recently bought a t-shirt to remind me of this truth – be real, not perfect.

Repeat after me…be real, not perfect.

Philippians 1:6

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Big Peach…Logistics Ninja…Crazy Lady