Siblings

We are more than four years into our blending adventure (3 years of dating and 1.5 years of marriage). In our home, we use words like sibling instead of step, and ours instead of yours and mine. I’ve mentioned on the blog before that when you remarry and blend it seems like the stats are stacked against you. We learned early there are certain things we can do to create the glue required for our blended family.

I remember the first couple years of dating RW and how it made me very anxious and nervous when our kids didn’t get along. I recall a time when our boys were out in the backyard at the house on Chinkapin wrestling and fighting each other. Like legit physically fighting each other. I wanted to go out a break it up, but RW insisted we let them be. Shortly after they were playing again and working together to pick up the hundreds of Nerf darts scattered all over the yard. Needless to say this was not the last time our boys have flexed their egos and muscles, and rattled each other’s cages (which is what we call it in our house). My husband reminds me during these times that they fight like siblings, but more importantly they trust and love like siblings.

From the very beginning our kids formed tight bonds. I think they saw themselves as a sibling unit before we did. They are interchangeable and often times you can find two or more together in our home. With our boys we’ve seen this bond recently tested. Our boys have played on the same recreational basketball teams for the last three years. They both tried out for the junior high team and only one made it. They are two months apart and have never had to officially compete against each other. It was a rough couple days following the cut, but the resiliency, encouragement, and love we saw in our home was pretty awesome to experience. The boys handled it better than we did, and took the lead in moving us forward. I am grateful for the bond they share.

When we meet new people they often ask which kids belong to which parent. I don’t even think of it in those terms, but realize not everyone sees it that way. Blending our families has brought more blessings than challenges. Our kids move through three houses and we have a coparenting team of six adults. There are times when our kids blend with their siblings beyond our home. They go to each others houses, catch rides together, and stay connected even when they aren’t here with us. I believe God is a huge part of making this possible, and I am grateful for the healing and hope that exists in our beautiful chaos.

In a world where people seem quick to draw lines, separate, and take sides I remain committed to practicing something very different and it starts in our home. ❤️