Winter

We enjoyed all the things in December. Tree trimming, cookie baking, Christmas movies, and quality time together. Everyone was healthy this year so we were able to attend Christmas Eve service, as well as all other family festivities. We rounded out 2022 with full hearts and wonderful memories.

But who the heck pushed the fast forward button on January 1? This month has flown by and we are juggling a lot. We have much to be grateful for as we start the new year, but if I’m being honest I’ve been feeling a little down. I have felt more tired than usual. If you asked our kids they would tell you I’m always tired. But it’s a deep tired – like in my bones.

I don’t have a history of seasonal depression, but a friend recently shared she feels this more as she gets older. I am in my 40s after all. But all joking aside, I know things can get dark fast so I’m dialed in and willing to take action contrary to how I might be feeling. We also have friends and family walking through hard stuff. Our prayer list is long and it makes my heart sad. Layer in the fatigue from the twists and turns over the last couple of years and I think we all just feel worn down. Right?

We also live in a culture that is confusing and exhausting. Wear these shoes, style your hair this way, drink out of this cup, play on this travel team, and the list goes on. A few Sundays ago our pastor talked about this topic. He likened our culture to living in Babylon – worshiping the wrong people and things. I was moved to tears when we sang after the sermon because I don’t want that way of life for me or our kids. I notice it more when I participate in social media and when I’m not spiritually fit.

So…I make an honest attempt to practice daily prayer and meditation followed by exercise. I’m an early riser and my morning routine helps keep my crazy in check. I keep a gratitude journal where I write at least one thing I’m grateful for each morning. This helps me stay present and connected to God. I participate in a daily gratitude text thread where others share about what they are grateful for which keeps me tethered. I’ve also learned gratitude is an action. So when all else fails, I look for ways to be helpful to others.

It’s difficult to tie a bow on this month’s blogpost when I’m in the middle of trudging. But I think it’s important to write about the real stuff – the unpolished and unfinished. So I will close with a little excerpt from my meditation book, Jesus Calling, from November 25, 2022:

“If you practice thankfulness consistently, negative thought patterns will gradually grow weaker and weaker. Draw near to Me with a grateful heart, and My Presence will fill you with Joy and Peace.”