Here for the Shells

This summer our family was supposed to head out west for a couple weeks. It’s the second time we’ve planned this trip, and the second time we’ve canceled. Because of…well, life. First it was a global pandemic and this time an injury with time required for healing, and being financially responsible amidst uncertainty. My husband is stronger than he’s ever been and we’ve come out on the other side of another challenging season with a stronger faith in God and commitment to each other.

I unexpectedly got invited to take a trip to Florida during this same timeframe. I was grateful to be invited, but this weird guilt set in about leaving my family during a time we were supposed to be on a family trip. There was very little expense involved and my husband encouraged me to go (which meant so much). It was a road trip down with a flight home. I’m terrified to fly. And I was going with two women I’ve only recently started to get to know better.

So lots of fear – leave my family, travel with people I’ve never traveled with, fly home. So many reasons to say no. BUT I said yes! And was encouraged by other women to go fill up my cup and to have some fun. We all need time away to relax and recharge. Taking care of me is something I’m still learning how to do at 44.

My friend Jo and and I set out for the 19 hour drive south and our friend Lauren would fly in the next day. It was a long drive and I’m not great with distance driving or driving at night. Jo was a rock star and I truly enjoyed getting to know her better, swapping favorite songs, and all the goofy stops along the way including a Buckee’s in the wee hours of the morning where the BBQ joint was hopping and we doubled down on our caffeine.

We enjoyed four days of glorious beach time with a couple adventures thrown in the mix. Jo and Lauren were easy to vacation with and there were so many moments where I just felt immense gratitude.

It had been three years since I had seen the ocean. I forgot how truly magnificent it is. The waves, the crystal clear blue, and the sea shells. I was in awe of how many whole seashells and sand dollars existed in this special place. I wandered the beach each day in a child like manner collecting. At one point we saw these three little boys on the beach with a cast net. You could tell the one with the net was the ring leader. The second boy looked ornery with this adorable smile, and the third one lagged behind them with a long sleeve swim shirt and was clearly distracted by shells. We giggled and thus our theme for the rest of the trip – here for the shells.

I didn’t know how much I actually needed this trip until I took it. If I let fear and the need to control everything drive me, then I miss out on all kinds of experiences. Did I mention how scared I am to swim in the ocean? Because that one crazy shark will get me. But I got in anyway. Am I going to be scared and miss out or trust that I will be ok and be present for the moment? Am I going to consider all the what ifs or am I going to live? I find myself choosing adventure more these days, and I am so grateful for the people who challenge me to do so.

I will not wait another three years to see the ocean and I won’t wait another 44 to take a girls trip. This trip and the women I took it with will hold a special place in my heart forever.